Last night I dreamed that I was riding in a car with an old friend who I haven't seen or spoken to in years. Some guy that wanted to be a love interest when I was much too young to be interested in anything like that. We were driving through Correctionville & past my grandma's house.
She died about a year ago & her vacant house was one of the hardest things for me to wrap my head around. It still seems so weird to me that I may never again be inside of that house. A place that I can walk through in my memories and see every detail, even smell it inside my head.
In my dream we drove down her street & much to my dismay the lot was empty. No house, no propane tank, no little shed, not even a sidewalk; just a grassy lot. I craned my neck to keep my eyes on the place as we sped past and looked back to my friend only after it was gone completely from my sight. I could see the look on my own face. Hurt, confused, angry.
"Why didn't anyone tell me?!"
Whether he replied or not I can't remember but I insisted that we must go back. I needed to see it again to believe it. In the dream world, time is a little messed up, so when we drove past it again seemingly moments later, in it's place was a pool. The ugliest pool, the bottom was painted a weird amoeba design in red and purple. It disgusted me.
"Why would anyone do this!?...the city pool is less than a few blocks away! Who could be so selfish!"
I was so angry now, but he still didn't stop.
"Go back! I need to see it for myself!"
This time as we drove past there was a river flowing through where the yard & propane tank should have been. I made a decision to find out what was going on. Some men were working down stream & I went to them.
"What is going on here? How did this happen?"
"This is a man-made stream. Whoever bought this place discovered water underneath the land and wanted to utilize it. Figured it could do this town some good."
I feel like he might have tipped his construction hat to me, dismissing me back into my frustration. Bewildered, my head spinning...
"You need to plant marigolds. Thousands of marigolds. In memory of her."
"I'm sorry ma'am. You're going to have to talk to the city council. This is their project."
The next thing I know I'm in front of twenty people, the stream is gone and the lot is back to being a grassy plot of land again.
"This was my grandmother's home. My home. She had a garden here for many years while I grew up. I would like you to honor her memory by making this into a community garden. We can plant vegetables and fruits & marigolds. Everyone can come here and help take care of the plants. She would have liked that."
The spectators nodded in approval.
I woke up with the images still fresh in my mind. The house still torn down. Gone forever. I cried actual tears at the thought for a few heavy moments & then reality set in. Her house is still there. Even though I may never go inside, it is comforting to know the structure still stands. Since last night I've considered that it might be repainted, remodeled or torn down someday and the thought still makes me cringe. Something I'll have to come to terms with eventually, but not today.
-Thanks for reading.
